


Distant Train

by hanihyunsu



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath, Angst, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avengers Family, Boredom, Brothers, Conversations, Emotions, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Family Feels, Feels, Gen, Hurt Thor (Marvel), Justice, Light Angst, Loki (Marvel) Angst, Messy, One Shot, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Sad, Trains, Walks In The Park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 08:44:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20373961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanihyunsu/pseuds/hanihyunsu
Summary: Thor takes his brother on an abandoned train station to talk. About peace, the war and lifeーabout themselves.//AU where I.W and Endgame is over and yet Loki is alive and fought in both and is having quite a life waiting for something new to happen. Everyone else received their fates.





	Distant Train

**Author's Note:**

> Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.  
ー Percy Bysshe Shelley
> 
> JOIN THE "LOKI IS ALIVE" MOVEMENT!!! WE NEED YOU TO START A REVOLUTION.

[ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı](http://%C4%B1l%C4%B1.l%C4%B1ll%C4%B1l%C4%B1%C4%B1.%C4%B1ll%C4%B1)

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ  
_sunset - gnash_

━━━━◉───────  
◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹

[ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı](http://%C4%B1l%C4%B1.l%C4%B1ll%C4%B1l%C4%B1%C4%B1.%C4%B1ll%C4%B1)

* * *

"**What...are we doing here?**"

Thor looked back, and Loki was met with the sight of the sun shining around Thor's figure before the sunset at the horizon, as if it was a halo for his might. Loki knew at the least that Thor deserved that. It was beautiful.

"**What?**" Thor leaned closer. "**Sorry, 'didn't catch that.**"

"**Ugh.**"

Loki fought the urge to roll his eyes (he failed) and instead looked down to kick the pebbles situated between the rails. He kept his hands held behind his back, grimacing at himself when he accidentally poked at the small paper cut on his middle finger. He burned the letter that caused itーa copy of his father's will.

Either way, the cut still hurts even hours after it happened. It was a horrifying form of torture, those papercuts.

And Thor doesn't need to know he had one. Or perhaps he already knew, and just chose not to ask him about it.

Loki shook the thought out of his mind, pushing the pain to the corners of his memory. He likes to think his magical healing is still...functional.

"**Well, there is absolutely nothing entertaining here, brother,**" he said, kicking more pebbles off the rail. "**Do I serve any purpose here? Absolutely not. Do you? I don't know.**"

Thor craned his head to the side. "**What do you mean? It's a train station! Don't you know what trains are?**" he asked in amusement and pride, continuing his walk to balance himself on a rail.

"**I am aware of Midgardian transportation; don't underestimate my knowledge,**" Loki mumbled, mostly to himself. He kept kicking pebbles, already fed up with the place.

Today is one of the days in his long life where he doesn't have anything certain planned. Some days, when he woke up to find his schedule blank, he goes on to plan something to spend his day on. Most of such days, his plans would be to go bother Valkyrie, sometimes spend time with Frigga, or even prank the guards or steal the Tesseract and stab his brother. You know, the usual.

_That_ was back thenーway long ago. Never ages, but still once upon a time. Now that it seemed like actual centuries since that time, he guessed they really had been through a lot.

But yes, he did somehow manage to find something to do everytime. For once in his entire life, he finally ran out of plans. It felt like he had done everything already, as it seems. There was no one too interesting to prank since Steve was too old to bother. He also can't just go pester Clint. That soldier and the bird would just ignore him, too. The Spider child is also out of the question; he doesn't know where he or any of them were, only that the Spider child is in Europe. Tony and Nat...well, he would just end up in silence all over again. And the Tesseract? Well, it doesn't feel right to conquer the world or anything anymore. He almost died defending itーno, he literally died a few or so times for this universe. It's a good thing he left a part of him to stay alive. Long story, cry about it.

With nothing but boredom, he made a first-time decision to approach his brother for ideas. He never did that before and so he expected some shock as a reaction, but Thor simply smiled and told him he had a place he had been wanting to go to visit.

And he was bored and curious enough to not protest.

That place turns out to be an abandoned train station out of nowhere, literally rusting in and out and consumed back by nature with the crawling vines on the walls and the rails. Loki had seen and been in abadoned places before, very much like this one, and so he was met with even more boredom. There is nothing too significant about this place.

Just pebbles, rails, and a station unstable with post-earthquake rubble and cracks. The trains themselves can't even be seen anywhere.

He brought his gaze back to Thor, who was mumbling to himself. "**Pardon?**"

Thor looked at him, half amazed he even caught he was mumbling. He gestured to the rusty walls of the side. "**Don't you think it is still beautiful, though?**"

Thor had his back to him again, simply strolling at the outside instead of the inside of the rusty rails. "**Nobody is supposed to stay here for long. They only stop here for a while to get to other places. That's the only purpose a train serves. It's so peaceful in its existence. Don't you think so, brother?**"

Loki listened, looking around them. The station itself was already a quarter of a kilometer behind them, and the sun was starting to set as they approach another tunnel underground. The roads were a cliff's height beside them, and he doubts a place this far from the streetlights would be illuminated by nightfall.

Speaking of which, he stopped walking and looked straight beyond, situated long past Thor. The last rays of the sun remained up, and yet his brother doesn't seem like he wanted to return yet.

For once, he decided to let him be.

Thor was right, train stations are never places someone would stay in for long. It is, in fact, an example of liminal space. Accordingly, trains are not exactly useless and impractical but it is not so exceptional either. It's just a metal box following a track to help people move to other places.

"**How did this become beautiful, then?**" he asked in curiosity, riding on to the conversation Thor started.

"**The...the fact that it is still here maybe,**" the blond answered, inhaling sharply and placing his hands on the pockets of his jeans. "**I mean, it can't possibly decay if it wanted toーit isn't a mortal being to decide thatーbut it is still amazing how this entire structure is still here.**"

That's when it occured to Loki. Perhaps the reason why things become beautiful is when someone thinks they can understand it. However, Thor thinking a train station is beautiful is...just plain _odd._

"**Why? It's decaying, as far as we both know. And...dirty.**"

It was always makes a difference when his older brother is the one who speaks and he doesn't know why. He was content not finding that one out.

Or perhaps it was just him wanting to hear what his brother would say.

"**It ****_i_****_s_ decaying, so I find relief in the fact I get to see places like this before they cease to exist. Are...uhm...do you get what I'm-**"

"**Yes, brother,**" Loki answered quickly, nodding. "**There are a whole lot other abandoned train stations like this though, so why this one?**"

He heard Thor chuckle, making him look up once more. He didn't just see the sky but also Thor gazing up to it as well. All that was left of the sun were the orange clouds, no more halo. It made Thor's angelic pre-sunset aura turn into a light low enough to highlight the exhaustion in his face, and quite possibly, _Loki's too_.

The sunset is for everyone, really. They are tired out of their long lives, and literally everyone is. It was something Loki understood.

And it was beautiful.

Wait, the sun is a place too...technically. _Did he just-_

"**Do you understand it now?**" Thor had cut off his train of thought. "**You seem to get me now, you stopped kicking the, y'know, the small rocks.**"

He finally met eyes with his brother, who was grinning at him. He mocked his grin, rolling his eyes.

"**I always do, don't you know?**" he said, shaking his head and going back to kick pebbles. It's starting to grow on him, this habit.

"**Now you claim to always get the things I do or say-**"

Loki looked up to correct himself, pursing his lips and gesturing how thin his Thor-tolerance scale shrunk from 100 to 1 with his fingers.

"**Uh, no? I _claimed_ that I always understand everything anyone says. I think fast, unlike you,**" he said, adding some sort of light-hearted banter to the mix. It feels better that way.

Thor scoffed. "**Yeah, yeah, whatever floats your boat. Or, hm, train,**" he said, chuckling at his own corny joke. His smile soon settled. "**You were staring at the sun. Did you find it beautiful?**"

Loki furrowed his eyebrows. _What is Thor trying to say, exactly?_

"**Yes, because it _is_ beautiful.**"

"**So why that one? There are a whole lot of other stars in the universe. Why not...why not _that_ one?**" Thor pointed up to the Polaris, already shining at the darker side of the post-sunset sky.

"**Because the sun is nearer...?**" Loki answered, unsure.

Thor laughed, pointing at him as if he got him onto a prank. "**Exactly. This is the nearest train station so...**"

Loki slapped his forehead with his palm. "**Really?**" he said, not making an effort to hide his slight disappointment. He actually thought Thor would bring up a good idea!

-Which makes sense, which makes it even more annoying. Thor may have gotten Loki with this one.

That's a first.

"**So what? This place is falling apart.**" Loki shivered as the night breeze blew on their faces. "**And cold. And dark.**"

"**Oh come on, we are both experts in walking through a cold dark room, y'know, back in Asgard,**" Thor said, shrugging the cool breeze away.

"**Why did you bring me here, then?**"

"**I just want to walk by some place nobody would go to. A place nobody would particularly remember,**" Thor said sadly, pausing in his tracks to bask in the silence. "**Uh, Loki, if you are bored, you can come back home! I'll be back later. Hope you didn't find this too boring, did'ya?**"

_He had the audacity to punctuate his sentence with a small, sad chuckle,_ Loki thought. It made him even more pathetic, honest.

"**Why, though?**" He didn't have to specify it for his brother to understand.

"**It just feels right.**"

Loki nodded, accepting that Thor won't admit it out loud. It was irrelevant, he knew anyway. He was considering the walk back home alone when-

"**It's just,**" Thor suddenly continued, breaking the silence.

_Nevermind_, Loki thought. He had no intention of walking back home now, that he was finally hearing the inevitable truth from his brother's lips.

"**Over time, the Avengers won't be remembered. It started just after the war. Every time a battle ends, the soldiers who suffered will soon be forgotten one by one. A day will come that there will be no one who will answer to "Assemble" anymore.**"

"**Everyone had their lives now, huh?**" Loki added. "**That makes it...sad. They're growing old. The children, included.**" He smiled at the memory of the younger ones, including Barton and Stark's little agents, and how they would run the world that their elders fought and died for.

"**I know,**" Thor agreed, gazing up at the sky. He realized they stopped walking, and settled onto gazing up at the slowly darkening sky. "**Won't you miss it?**"

He had a solid answer to that. Hulk smash...the deaths...the chains...the _cells...the trauma..._

"**No.**"

The older brother groaned, looking at him with a frown. "**Oh come on, we're having a moment here. Play along.**"

Loki honestly would like to agree; again, for once. Thor rarely initiated a dramatic monologue, it was always Loki and only him. He did as told: played along.

"**Yeah, I take it that you would indeed miss it.**" Unlike him, Thor had a better time with the Avengers. He respected that, at least.

"**Of course!**" Thor replied, looking at his palms and at the ground. "**I did something worthy, and that adds to the victory and peace that Asgard, Midgard and the entire universe would relish on!**"

The raven-haired brother paused.

_That's bullshit,_ Loki's mind provided. Thor is lying, and they both knew it.

The victory against Thanos isn't even certain. _It isn't even close to certain!_ If anything, it was a complete hunch and a mess of a plan. If they did things even just a little bit differently, or if they said different things and had different weapons, that victory would already be dusted away from existence. It was pure soul and chance that they even won.

So how dare Thor lie? He doesn't even know if he will live past that fight. He even offered to _sacrifice_ himself once for that war.

_Bullshit, it was really._ His fight was deeper than anyone thought. It wasn't just for peace. It was for something more. _Did Thor really think he won't realize that?_ Did he even hear anything he said all his life? At least his mental capability remained unchanged, so much for his magic-

_....Right._

"**Look, Thor. The war is over. You don't have to keep that image you're trying so hard to maintain.**" It slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it. _So much for playing along._ He couldn't participate in a mission to keep Thor in his land of make-believe. They defeated the threat, they won. That is enough.

"_**Loki...**_"

"**You have to let things go. The Avengers are growing up? That's fine, new heroes will rise. This train station rusting to death? There are a whole lot of other train stations we could go to,**" he said, knowing that there is no turning back to the old life they had. Thor had to be told the things he needed to hear, somehow. It was for his own good.

And his own good too, honestly. He can't just watch Thor try to piece himself back together when he knew firsthand how painful that is.

He won't say it out loud, but he had been pretty content with having only broken souls to interact with his entire life. Thor shouldn't need to feel like he needed to be back to his old self when his present self is just fine.

As long as Thor is here, Loki would accept it, honestly.

He felt his world shake when Thor's knees gave up, kneeling on the rocky ground and shoulders shaking as he silently sobbed to himself. "**I'm so tired, brother. I should have went**."

Loki swallowed, taking a deep yet shaky breath as he remained in his place. Thor remained with his back to him, and the image of the God of Thunder breaking felt like it had nothing on him. He can't even move to at least pat him on the back. Nothing much had changed, he was still a coward himself.

But maybe not.

He stepped forward. It was hard, but it was a start to change. He kept going, until he was right behind his older brother.

"**You said it yourself: you did something worthy. That is already enough,**" he whispered, mostly to the air, "**There is no need to burden yourself further.**"

Thor stood up to launch a hug to him, shocking the younger one from the action. The embrace was tight, and it was warm. Just like the old times.

He saw the last of the orange skies disappear into darkness past his brother's shoulder. Slowly, he made his way to return the hug and rest his palms on his brother's back in hushed pats, trying to console him even if he wasn't really the type to do so. Again, it was for the sake of change.

The stars started to appear, and he wondered just how long was his brother hugging him. Somehow, the routinely hush made his brother's jacket material feel nice under his palm, much like how his mother comforted him in his own breakdowns.

He really missed her. He knew Thor does, too.

The entire thing was lovely. The starlight rained down on them gently, letting the earliest of the crickets mark the beginning of night.

"**We should go home, brother.**"

Thor sniffed, and his silencing sobs became background noise at that point. He slowly calmed himself down before leading the way back, smiling at his own mini crying session.

"**That was a first-**"

Suddenly, a loud crack of thunder sounded so booming it made the trickster brother jump in surprise.

He looked back at Thor in a small, half-hearted glare. Thor looked back shrugged. Cold droplets of the first raindrops pointed in their faces in heavy and random patterns, and Loki started to take off.

"**Okay, so that's not a first,**" Thor said, beginning to jog ahead until they both went into a full blown run back to the roofed station, "**It's just delayed! Sorry!**"

He should have kept the thunder in mind.

* * *

[ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı](http://%C4%B1l%C4%B1.l%C4%B1ll%C4%B1l%C4%B1%C4%B1.%C4%B1ll%C4%B1)

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ  
_fine china - lana del rey_

━━━━◉───────  
◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹

[ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı](http://%C4%B1l%C4%B1.l%C4%B1ll%C4%B1l%C4%B1%C4%B1.%C4%B1ll%C4%B1)

**Author's Note:**

> I am writing this while at the optometrist waiting for my new specs. Basically, I am blind. Good thing I memorized the keys from typing so fast during my lecturer's quick Powerpoint transitioning. If you're going to make a Powerpoint, please let everyone have the time to take some brief notes, yeah?
> 
> Edit: It really is true. An immortal surrounding himself with mortals isn't a really good idea if he wants to keep himself sane.


End file.
